But then there are the days that I take him out to be around other mums and toddlers or take him to a play group and all I want to do is to scream run and hide. I am jealous that other kids shout out "Mama". I am jealous they play with other children, while DJ sits alone and plays with his cars. He doesn't even look at other kids, and the poor kid that try to come up to him and play get scratched in the face. I have tried taking DJ up to the screaming kid who has just been malled and say "look what you have done, you have made them cry" but he just turns and walks away with no flinch of resentment. The other mums just look at me shaking their heads in disapproval. I want to shout at them and say " he doesn't understand"
The more I am around other kids the more I feel I am missing out. Missing out on having funny conversations with my toddler, or watching him mimic me, or pointing at something and saying "Bus" and hear a little tiny voice repeating "Bus". I know I am being petty and its probably because I am just having a bit of a wobbly day.
I am just longing for the day that he looks at me and says Mama.